


Vagrant

by SomeoneFromHeLL



Category: Shiki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24335800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeoneFromHeLL/pseuds/SomeoneFromHeLL
Summary: On a rainy afternoon Seishin and Toshio save a mischievous cat. And in time it gets a chance to witness Seishin's hidden thoughts and the glaring differences between the two males.
Relationships: Muroi Seishin & Ozaki Toshio
Kudos: 3





	Vagrant

A rather chilly autumn’s evening had strolled upon Sotoba. The cold weather had become mundane to the villagers. In so the atmosphere had swiftly pulled another trick, that it had been thoroughly saving for a couple of droughty weeks now - rain. The drops lashed onto the quiet village, causing numerous puddles to arise on the streets, marches, or lower planes of grass. It also created a repetitive, dull symphony. What gave that sound a melancholic color, were the soft cries, echoing near the forest.

Soon enough two blurry lights mingled on the national road, along with a distinct rumble of a puffing engine, it seemed to be emitting it's final roars, right before a collapse, alas that never happened. And so the half-dead motor kept pushing the sturdy bus forward. Eventually it made a squeeky pause near the bus stop and two seventeen-year-old teenagers climbed off, after bidding farewell to the driver.

Toshio inhaled the fresh air, that had lingered along with the rain's antics, before he lazily hid his head beneath an umbrella. 

"Well, this is... Expected..." He grumbled. "Perhaps I should listen to Yasumori Gichi's ramblings once in a while, seeing, how he easily predicted the rain."

"I think a lot of the elderly kept saying something like that this morning, in the temple at least." Seishin added, peeking out from his own umbrella, though as he did so, the water dribbled down on his shoulder from the slightly tipped covering. "I once heard, that a person can detect the change of weather by the smell. Ahm, rainy weather especially, because they bring this kind of fresh air."

"Huh..." The brunet cocked an eyebrow. "Would be nice, if I could learn this kind of trick. Anyway, our elders sure are perceptive... In both good and bad ways."

"Don't start badmouthing, Toshio..."

"You have to admit, they are idiots, when it comes to keeping their noses to themselves."

"Well... The doctor's son wandering the streets at night does come out as odd, don't you think?"

"Why do I get the feeling, they ranted me out, just because I was Ozaki's son?" Toshio frowned, muttering. He began to walk towards the village, periodically evading the formed puddles and miry mudslides in his path. A small hum escaped from Seishin, but no other words disturbed the downfall's harmonic symphony, their steps were drowned out likewise. And so they carried on without much of a conversation between them, the teenagers couldn't talk much anyway, since the puddles had constricted parts of their path, making them walk in a line. Finally it branched off of the national road and carried them into the depths of Sotoba, although not much of an outline could be seen of the village itself.

All of a sudden Seishin paused. He strained his ears, attempting to catch the odd sound again. It seemed like a cry...

"Toshio!"

"What?" The brown-haired teenager paused carelessly in the middle of the street.

"Can you hear that?"

"Hear what?" He turned around, spotting Seishin still standing in the fork of the road, intently gazing at the forest. Toshio sighed, returning to the silver-haired male's side, bumping the edges of their umbrellas together. "The only thing I can feel, is that I'm freezing, we should hurry up."

"Yeah, I know that." He didn't move an inch regardless.

"Well then, I'm going on ahead." Toshio shrugged and Seishin handed a dumbfounded stare his way, before flimsily reaching for his friend's hand, catching his lower sleeve instead. He nearly stumbled Toshio's way, before he found stable ground again.

"Wait, Toshio. I swear I heard something there."

"Huh, must've been the Okia-gari." The brown-haired teenager snickered.

"I'm serious. I heard a cry."

"A cry, eh?"

"It might have been a wounded animal with all the huntings going on this season."

Toshio hummed in thought, before his pupils caught a tiny black mass, a few steps away from the woods. It seemed to be huddled into a ball. The teenager narrowed his eyes, trying to make out the foreign object, he clearly hadn't seen it yesterday. It did not flutter against the wind, so it couldn't have been a scrap of clothing, didn't resemble a bottle either. The ebony color was vivid, in a way similar to a swirling Black Hole or an abyss. Toshio stood there both mesmerized and anxious at the unknown figure. Suddenly he gulped down a huge chunk of saliva and clenched his free fist, before taking a timid step towards the unknown entity. Just as he did, a short shuddering wail was emitted from the creature. Toshio's eyes widened, his shoulders eased and he triumphantly whirled around at his friend.

"It's a cat!"

"A cat?"

"Near the forest, it has black fur." He pointed in that direction, although Seishin painfully squinted his eyes to no avail. Toshio's enthusiasm fainted slightly then. "Can't see it, can you?"

Seishin shook his head with a calm expression. His eyesight seemed to have diminished greatly through time. 

After the teenagers made their way towards the little shivering kitten, Seishin seemed overtaken by heartache. The kitten's grimy fur seemed to be glued together in weird angles like curved horns or needles of a hedgehog. The animal was shivering like a leaf caught in a storm. Its eyes were set towards the darkened woods, so it noted neither Toshio nor Seishin. The both males stood on the side, staring at the poor being, who released occasional wails, that wrecked its whole body. After a short minute Toshio forced himself to part his mouth.

"We should do something about this cat. Does anyone hold any cats in Sotoba?"

"I don't know." Seishin crouched down, with his umbrella sheltering the small being. He gave the cat a light pat on the back, causing the being to turn around at him with curious, sleepy eyes. It meowed weakly in return, not running away. The teenager slowly withdrew his hand. "It does seem to be friendly, maybe it was thrown out."

"You mean... That's horrible..." Toshio hunched next to Seishin and under the silveret's wide umbrella, keeping his own extended to the side. He gave the silver-haired male a side-glance. "What should we do about it? We can't just leave it to die here. It's not the cat's fault, that its master was heartless..."

"Ah, you're right. Could we take it in?"

"Unless it's your place. I don't think my father would tolerate a dirty fur ball, running around the sterile clinic." Toshio grimaced bitterly. He wasn't in the mood for another pointless argument with his father. He exhaled all of a sudden, shooing that thought away. "I'll help you feed this kitty of course. Just find a place to keep it warm."

Seishin nodded, before he pushed his umbrella Toshio's way. Then he gently scooped the cat up, keeping it secured in his crooked forearm. The shivering did not cease, so Seishin embraced it with his other hand, in that time Toshio covered his friend with an umbrella. As they walked on towards the temple, the heavy rainfall preserved to claw at the hollow and foggy village.

X X X

At first the little ebony cat with huge ears, and orange piercing eyes, was frightened of its new surroundings. Ever since it dried off, it dashed away from Seishin's hold to hide below the porch. Poor cries echoed from somewhere below, yet the silver-haired teenager could not find the cat, nor lure it out with a bowl of cold milk. Eventually, night rolled by and the rain dwindled slightly, in the morning only a drizzle remained. When Seishin went outside on the temple grounds, he grinned, seeing a dry bowl, under the porch of his room. So before heading off to class, he left some leftovers for the wandering cat. 

A week rolled by and in this time the cat would come back for a meal from day to day.

On the weekend, when the faint evening sun graced Sotoba with its final rays of light, Seishin found himself sitting on the end of the porch, enjoying the evening after most of his chores and homework were completed. The little black cat joined in likewise, purring happily on the teenager's lap. The tranquility spread through Seishin and he slowly patted the cat. As he did so, a pair of footsteps invaded.

"Hey!"

Seishin tore his eyes apart, his gradually mingling view finally took over Toshio, the latter leaned into his perception from behind. A curious expression graced the brunet's features.

"So the cat got a liking to you now, eh?" He giggled, then sat cross-legged beside Seishin, who gave him a tired nod. Toshio smiled, reaching out to scratch the back of the cat's ear. "I wonder, is it a male or female?"

"I believe, it's a male."

"Ah, then what about his name? Did you think of one?"

"No. Not yet..." Seishin shook his head and Toshio let out an idle hum.

"I think, I got a name for our companion over here." Seishin handed him a lazy nod, waiting for the other to add. "Riko-san... What do you think about that?"

"Why not?"

"Heh. So you'll be Riko-san from now on, kitty."

While the brown-haired teenager chuckled, playfully ruffling the cat's fur, Seishin's gaze wandered. Soon enough a calm smile had spread upon the latter's expression. The semi-quiet evening managed to envelop the silveret. He felt completely at ease, allowing his body to be caressed by the oozing gusts of wind. If only he could catch this kind of tranquility and carry it along throughout the whole day. So then all of his anxiousness and worries would dissipate on cue, if only this spark of serenity could erase both the past and future and trap this moment in a jar...

Seishin's eyes were lidded, however a sudden hiss caused him to glance up. The silver-haired teenager spotted Toshio vigilantly rubbing his palm, as the latter stared dumbfoundedly at the cat. 

"He scratched me, when I tried to take it. Seems like Riko-san's fonder of you." Toshio explained and Seishin took notice, how their cat gracefully jumped down from his knees and slowly, yet resolutely walked away towards the woods, avoiding the many formed puddles and quietly rustling the fallen leaves with his miniature paws. It probably got fed up with the needless attention.

In the meantime Toshio leaned back, prompting himself on his outstretched arms, a tired exhale escaped him, so the silver-haired teenager asked.

"What about your wound?"

"Wound? Don't worry, it's barely a scratch." Toshio shrugged his shoulders, muttering the next part with a lowered head. "Can't have your family fussing over something so trivial."

"You shouldn't take a wound so lightly. And..." Seishin paused, soon raising an eyebrow. "What's wrong with us taking care of you?"

"Simply because your mother would inform my father, before anything. Then your so-called-help would turn into one big ruckus. Dad wouldn't let me see the end of this." Toshio sighed. "Trust me, it would just make matters worse..."

Seishin could understand him on a level, he knew the strained relationship he had with his parents, whether that was something real or manufactured and only existent in Toshio's mind, remained unsure. Still, he thought it was useless to cling to this kind of one-sided mindset for every possible outcome. The silver-haired teenager suddenly narrowed his eyes, after he noted dark patches littering around Toshio's palm. He pointed out.

"Uhm... You're bleeding."

Toshio instantly stiffened, taking sight of the unfortunate hand and the red slithering trail down his fingers. So the throbbing was not enough? The silly scratch had to make itself apparent? He grimaced.

"It's nothing. Just a few drops. The wound will coagulate quickly anyway."

Apparently that did not convince Seishin, since he stood up, swiftly turning back at his opened room.

"I'll see, if I can get some medical tape."

Medical tape? Was he serious? Toshio's eyes widened and he shot back a little too roughly.

"I said, I don't need anything!"

"But..." The silver-haired teenager's voice got stuck in his throat. In the meantime Toshio clutched his crimson specked hand tightly.

"Stop worrying so much. The bleeding will stop in a minute or so. I won't bleed out. I won't die. And it's not worth to anger my father with this or to cause a stupid conflict between the Murois and Ozakis."

"Wh-what?"

"Don't you get it?! Have you never noticed, how my mom's face distorts every time she hears someone say - Muroi?!"

Seishin stared wide-eyed at Toshio, failing to process his rant. The brunet on the other hand, gulped down heavily, before he stood up as well. The cold air jabbed at him deliberately and for the first time in his life, the brown-haired teenager felt as if he was not welcome at the temple, a place he used to call his second home. The evening had grown chilly. It was as if nature itself wished to shove him out. He complied with that wish.

"I'm sorry..." Toshio muttered through gritted teeth.

Heading out, he gave a peek at Seishin. As expected the initial shock was gone, the silver-haired teenager now sat on the porch, giving a dull expression to the idly morphing horizon. Toshio frowned. Seishin knew it. He most likely knew those facts all along, so there was no reason to point them out or to lash at him... There was no reason at all...

X X X

Five years had passed since then.

And once again Seishin found himself trapped between the three mountains of the little village. After finishing his studies in Mizobe, Seishin returned to Sotoba. It was an unspoken demand of sorts; he was an heir to the Murois, one of the three pillars of Sotoba, so naturally he will have to take up the role from his father sooner or later. One day he'll become the Head Monk... It was an inevitable fate, passed down through generations. There was simply no other way. Seishin understood, even if he was against it - used to be against it. Time rolled by and his silent rebelliousness vanished without laboring any fruit. 

Once he returned to the temple's grounds, the man's eyes frowned. This hill harbored too many memories of his childhood. Seishin was sure, that if he closed his eyes, Toshio's frame would spring out as if summoned. Where was he now? He was far away, further than Seishin could ever hope to go... Apparently Toshio was studying in a medical school and he rarely visited his hometown nowadays, to him this village was seemingly rendered into a petty stopping point... The silver-haired man couldn't deny the jealousy, floating inside him. Toshio escaped, while he himself was restricted to Sotoba like the roots of a tree.

He emitted a sigh, getting out a few blank sheets of Japanese writing paper onto his writing desk. There was no reason to dwell on what could've been, when he was still somewhat bound to this place. He had to make use of the spare time he had. 

As the man mindlessly sharpened his pencil, he noted one of his sleeves to be a bit drawn back, the fresh scar poked out curiously, Seishin hastily pulled on the loose sleeve, masking his wrist. He didn't need that now, he didn't need to remember his foolishness. The villagers' carefulness was enough, he could stomach. The temple's staff seemed to walk on their tiptoes in front of him as if the male was carved out of glass, yet Seishin could still comprehend snippets of rumors behind his back. He tried not to mind them, he needed to... The silver-haired man soothed his psyche with promises, that it would all cease in a few years at worst, if only he could hold up his front until then. The silveret pinched his lip, he had to stop thinking about this.

Suddenly his preparations were interrupted by a soft cry. Seishin rose his head, spotting the stray black cat, standing on the porch. The kitten, that he and Toshio had found five years ago, had grown into this gigantic black beast, which still patrolled around the temple, like a guard or a phantom, protecting his newfound home. The cat meowed quietly again, probably hungry for attention, nowadays he rarely asked for food, since he found most of his meals in the wilderness. 

Seishin was delighted at the interruption. He smiled, extending his arm towards the cat, that acted as a sign for the creature to come closer.

"To-san, so you came to trouble me again, eh?" Seishin observed, feeling the cat nudge his side lightly. He circled the silver-haired male from behind, as if trying to cage him, while purring in satisfaction. Once the cat rounded the man, revealing it's presence on Seishin's left, he earned a few scratches behind his ears. Seishin smiled, easing his shoulders. "You never quit this routine, do you, To-san?"

The black cat looked on ahead for a short moment, before curiously placing his paws onto the writing desk. Soon enough he easily nested on Seishin's writing. To-san curled into a huge swirling abyss, it was as if the blank papers were the comfiest pillows, they seemed to shine from the given contrast. Seishin sighed in defeat at the happening. Was this To-san's way of telling the male to take a break, or was the cat oblivious to the things, that did not relate to him? Seishin gazed at his selfish companion. All that To-san cared about was getting attention. On the other hand, just how different was Seishin on that? Whenever the man used to feel lonely he would make a beeline to the clinic, whenever he needed to talk or at least listen to someone ranting, he'd scour out Toshio, no matter the time of day, or if the latter had some kind of pressing matters to attend to.

He supposed that now things will be a lot different. Simply because Toshio was absent from Sotoba. Seishin pinched his lower lip at that thought, while mindlessly running his hand through the cat's fur.

Suddenly the silver-haired man heard the sliding door push open with a resolute click.

"Oh, Seishin, you're here." His mother's soft voice called out. Seishin stood up, turning around, though the female shook her head." I didn't came to bother you for long. I heard from Toshio. He said, he's coming back for the weekend. That's all."

"I see. Thank you for letting me know." Seishin gave a languid nod. After exchanging a few more words, Miwako left. And Seishin whirled his head back at the table, hoping to meet with wide orange eyes, however the only thing he found on his writing desk, were a candle, pencils and the crumpled pieces of paper. The cat had decided to take his leave. What an untimely decision, right when Seishin himself needed company.

After everything had been settled, the man found himself unable to work. The concentration had evaporated, his psyche was polluted. There was nothing more he could do, another day will rise and he'll have to abide by its rules... 

His little prediction morphed into reality faster than he had expected. In the evening Toshio came to the temple himself. As usual Muroi Miwako welcomed Toshio like a long lost relative, preparing one of his favorite meals, then beckoning him and Seishin to join the table. After that was settled, she reeled them into various harmless conversations, they ranged from past events and the small changes in Sotoba to Toshio's studies and the city, that he resided for the time being. In the end, when that was over Toshio waited for Seishin, while sitting near his writing desk. 

"What are you doing?" The silveret pondered, after he parted the door. Toshio slightly turned around, revealing the black-furred beast, which attempted to settle down on his knees, rounding circles. The brunet grinned, patting the cat's head.

"I found this giant fellow, lying on your papers. His feet weren't that clean though."

"Oh..." Seishin came closer, observing the muddy markings of paws, that adorned the blank sheets. They were like numerous stamps littered all across the exposed page. He kneeled beside Toshio, glancing questionably at the cat. "Well, I don't think, we can do anything about that now..."

"I think, he feels guilty, for what he's done." Toshio remarked, peering at the cat, which nudged at the brown-haired man's stomach, avoiding Seishin's glare.

"I doubt. This isn't the first time."

"Really? Then we saved one disobedient cat at that time. Huh?"

"It's not that To-san's disobedient, I never set any boundaries, when it came to this room..."

"Why though?" Toshio cocked an eyebrow and Seishin just shrugged his shoulders, looking somewhere to the side. The lack of an answer made Toshio frown a little, while his fingers were occupied with scratching To-san's head. "I mean this is your room, not the cat's. You shouldn't let him rule, whenever he sees fit."

While Toshio ranted, Seishin gazed at the slightly parted shouji door, which was in front of them. It welcomed the speck of darkness. The silver-haired man smiled soon after, addressing the matter softly.

"Yes, alright."

"No, Seishin, I'm serious."

"And I am taking you seriously." He nodded.

"Something about your tone screams to me, that you'll just ignore this, once I'll leave."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I recall all those twenty years, that I've known you. We've been friends ever since childhood. Sure the university might have. Ah... ruffled you a bit, but you're still the same Seishin..."

The silver-haired man stared into distance, falling in a some sort of trance straight after. He did not move an inch, whilst his mind already braced itself for the worst to come - questioning of why he did it, when, how and so on... Luckily Toshio didn't allow his friend to ponder over his miscalculated words about the suicide attempt. He took the cat's sluggish body and draped him over Seishin's knees, causing the man to flinch. Toshio idly stood up then, holding an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I need a stretch... But your mother's Miso soup is as good, as I remember!"

"Ah. I guess so. Yeah..." He nodded, watching, as the cat gave an uncaring glare Seishin's way, before To-san easily abandoned the silveret's side, jumping on the awaited table. Toshio's expression shifted into one of surprise and he hastily pried the cat off the blank sheets, before he could begin scratching his little nails. The brown-haired man kept the meowing ebony cat in his hold then.

"He's persistent. What's so special about those papers anyway, huh?" Toshio peeked between the cat and the writing desk. Meanwhile Seishin chuckled lightly behind his fingers.

"Leave To-san be. It's not that big of a crime after all."

"It's a bad habit." The brown-haired man said, before he bent down and freed his arms enough for the cat to tardily waltz out. To-san elegantly rose one of his paws, while sniffing the edge of the table, perchance even guiltily. In that time Toshio paused, giving Seishin a puzzled glance. "Wait a minute, why do you call him - To-san?"

"Eh?" The silveret's eyes widened fearfully.

"Didn't we name him Riko-san all those years ago?"

"Uh, y-yeah, Riko-san. You're right."

Toshio's puzzled expression stayed rooted in place, more so when Seishin stammeringly admitted his mistake. He blinked at his friend.

"We can rename him."

"N-no. This was a slip-up, I mixed up." The silver-haired man gave a weak smile, trying to conceal the anxiousness, that overtook him. His hands clutched into fists, that were set onto his knees, as means to disclose the risen emotions. Now Seishin just hoped, that Toshio wouldn't think too much about the differing name, or why did he persisted to call the cat that way. Frankly the silveret wasn't entirely sure about the answer himself, it happened suddenly, without thinking, without searching for meaning and with time the mindless name stuck with him. While the silver-haired man bit on his lower lip, To-san tapped over to him, beginning to round circles around the male, as if means to calm him down.

Soon enough Toshio parted the shouji door ajar, allowing the midnight air to seep into the room. Seishin shivered from the unperceived gust of the ice-cold wind, causing the brunet to whirl his head at him suddenly.

"Would you mind, if I smoked here?"

"Smoked?" Seishin gave off a bitter smirk. "When did you start to smoke?"

"The university does a lot of things to a person..."

"Eh, alright, I don't mind by the way."

"Are you sure? Passive smoke isn't particularly healthy."

"So is smoking in general." Seishin shot back at the hypocritical comment. Soon enough Toshio sat down near the opening to the porch, leisurely extending one of his legs. The brown-haired man started rummaging through his numerous pockets, before finally revealing a crumpled packet of cheap cigarettes and a lighter, which probably hadn't cost more than the previous item. All the while the silver-haired man ogled his friend, as if Toshio had grown a second head, either it was that or the silveret wanting to say, that Toshio stooped low. He kept those thoughts to himself however.

After some time had passed the brunet became bothered by Seishin's prolonged stare and the deathly silence, which kept on stretching between the two. He felt like he was being put on a trial of some sort, so in order to lighten the mood, Toshio lit the cigarette, tilting his head at his companion.

"I don't even know, whether I should be surprised at you discarding your own health like this..." Wasn't Seishin always that way? Toshio exhaled, before knitting his brows in annoyance. "If you're that persistent with murdering yourself, why not give a puff of the devil himself?" 

Seishin's shoulders tensed at that and in matter of seconds brown-haired man's expression cringed. That meaning wasn't even intended, he just wanted to joke around. Toshio gulped down a huge chunk of saliva, feeling as if he had swallowed the eerie atmosphere along with it. Now it scratched at his throat, building a dam in the windpipe. Suddenly he heard the silver-heard man rise from his floor. Toshio was expecting him to leave, alas Seishin did the opposite, hunching in front of him. His face remained neutral, completely blank and void of any emotions. His next words were even weirder.

"Toshio... Could you give me one?"

The brown-haired man unceremoniously lit another low-cost 'coffin-nail', handing it to his friend. For a moment Seishin's puzzled eyes were fixated at the rising smoke from its bud, before he took the cigarette, gingerly placing it in his mouth. He started coughing dryly right after the first inhale, in so the cigarette was taken out of his hold. The silver-haired male's eyes were teary and he shook his head, when Toshio asked, if he wanted to try again. 

"Keep it. It tastes horrible." Seishin said after a greedy inhale of fresh air, his fingers were massaging the sore throat, which felt as if it burned to a crisp. Toshio smirked at him, inhaling the toxic fume himself.

"It just takes some getting used to, that's all. Besides you were doing it wrong anyway."

"Not that I want to find out, how to actually do it..." Seishin muttered under his breath, while the brunet's pupils trailed the poor outlines of the midnight forest, before he gathered his will to ask.

"So why did you took a drag in the first place?"

"I don't know..." The silver-haired man answered quickly, but then paused for a moment until he thought up, how to explain himself better. "... I wanted to try it, you talked me into it."

"Oh, so now you start throwing your stupid decisions on my shoulders?!"

"I didn't mean that... And I don't think, that was a stupid decision." He lowered his head and Toshio finally handed him a speculating eye, he sighed after a moment.

"Whatever. Don't take the stuff, I spout to heart."

Seishin shook his head, handing Toshio a warm smile again. The brunet smirked in return, however suddenly a side of his lip curved downwards. He tipped his head behind Seishin, pointing out.

"Your cat's on the table again."

The silver-haired male exhaled, making a brief eye-contact with the piercing orange eyes. To-san scrutinized them unwaveringly only one of his ears would twitch occasionally. Seishin sighed soon after.

"I can't say that... Riko-san is my cat. He's more of a wanderer, who stops by, whenever he wishes."

"Huh, then you'll be stuck with quite a lousy companion..."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll be living here from now on, right?" Toshio asked, waiting for Seishin to give an uncertain affirmative motion. The brown-haired man's smirk deteriorated bit by bit. "You see, I'm not intending to come back to Sotoba..."

X X X

For the next few months Toshio's words would come to haunt Seishin from time to time, acting like unprompted visitors during nighttime. Those same guests would sprout fervid jealousy in the back of the silver-haired man's mind. Those simple memories were met with furious remarks, that he desperately shoved away the next morning. Why was Toshio the only one, who was able to escape, when their wish was as equally strong? Seishin's dream was discarded, while his friend grasped the future, that he craved. He was rarely seen back in their hometown nowadays, however every time, Toshio did come back, everyone excepted him with open arms, Seishin was one of them... So why, then? What had he done wrong for fate to punish him and drag him back here? He did what everyone asked of him. Why wasn't that enough?

In these mundane and repetitive months, Toshio came to visit once more, however their get together was interrupted, and the brunet had to leave earlier than he expected, due to reasons, that Seishin did not particularly care about... From a petty stopping point, Sotoba had been reduced to a dusty picture album to Toshio. Perhaps a better name would be an imaginary past, which shouldn't be disturbed further than necessary. If these were in fact Toshio's thoughts, he had nailed completely off the mark, since this imaginary memento still housed people, enveloped their lives, pasts and futures into a tightly wrapped bundle.

Perchance these uneventful months blurred in Seishin's perception solely because of this reason... Sotoba seemed to be completely isolated by its territory and the rooted traditions inside of the village. One could even gaudily suggest, that this community was an entirely different plane of existence, they wouldn't be far off from the truth... Nothing altered, nothing changed - especially if one disregarded the steadily growing number of sotobas in the surrounding woods... 

These thoughts ran through the silver-haired man's mind, while he motionlessly laid in bed one night. His wide eyes peered at the furthest corner of the room. Besides the shadowy outlines, he couldn't see anything relevant. Soon enough a soft scratching disturbed the silence, a barely audible sliding of the shouji was emitted, similar to low breeze, then soft tapping noises waltzed into the night's order. Seishin had a fair hunch, who came to visit him, but still flinched away, when a pair of orange pupils loomed into his perception.

"To-san... " The silver-haired man scolded in a whisper. He should've closed the shouji fully tonight. The male recalled instances, when the cat used to invite himself into his writing room, no matter, how small of a crack was left. Seishin never expected to see the cat entering his bedroom though. Ebony upon ebony fell upon the man's eyes, he could hear the purring noise slightly distancing itself, but could not intake the form of the cat. To-san fit into the night like a ghost, he blended in with the shadows, concealing his own presence. The cat could not be found, could not be judged, could not be asked to leave. What a sneaky creature... But whatever the means, To-san got, what he wanted...

The nights were getting colder. It was the end of autumn after all, so it must've been nice for the cat to curl into a ball against Seishin's backbone.

As they both laid on the same futon, a new string of thoughts enveloped Seishin, shoving his previous envy out. This careless cat - To-san. He was a stray, he did not have a permanent home, but a puny residence, he favored. The mountains were vast and surely he had walked through them indifferently. To-san was free, he was a wanderer without much of a destination, only prompted by rounds of hunger... And Seishin? He was a vagrant as well.

Couldn't he describe his current life as meaningless? Seishin wasn't much different from To-san after all. He also maundered through life, purposefully abandoning any given meaning with a resolute: 'That won't do.'. He continued his struggle, wandering, seeking for something extraordinary, that would be powerful enough to explain and justify his questions, his worries, his actions, his fate... Unfortunately that something did not exist...

To-san shifted, reminding Seishin of his presence. The silver-haired man smiled, yet he still deemed it strange, that the cat decided to pay him a visit so deep in the night. That never happened before. And Seishin began to wonder, whether this will become a routine for both of them...

However the appearance of the next day crushed this idea. Seishin found his nightly companion lying limply on the side of the national road...


End file.
